By Jackie Kelly
In 2019 I enrolled in graduate school for social work after 5 years in a corporate environment and one year of SoULL. That fall, while in Year 2 of SoULL, I interned at a middle school counseling students from the ages of 10-12. SoULL teachings guided my work, enabling me to see and connect to these young human beings. This was in part due to my “teaching assistants”: the plants that I had in my office.
During most sessions, I would ask my students to water the plants. We spoke about life, growth and the energy within all living things. For example, one student was processing the recent death of his aunt and his fear of death. I spoke about the energy that goes into creating the plant that helps it grow, but also what happens after it blooms. We traced the energy moving back into the earth. I helped him see how this is a natural life process, which prompted further questions of death and dying. He asked if it’s the same flower that blooms the following spring. Instead of answering him, I asked what he thought. He said he thought it was the same or at least part of them was in the soil. We then went on to discuss his aunt and process what he wanted to say to her. He expressed creatively through drawing, and left it underneath one of the plants in my room. This is just one example of how SoULL teachings assisted my students in learning and healing.
In March of 2020, when COVID-19 forced the world to shutdown, my time counseling came to an abrupt end. There was no time to process the changes with my students or say goodbye. I was heartbroken. Though the situation was beyond anyone’s control, I felt I had failed them. It felt like a death to me. Ultimately, I recognized that I was grieving our loss of connection, and needed space to process our ending. These kids had so bravely opened up to me about their lives. They taught me how to sit with others who are struggling and in pain. It was truly an exchange. I consider them some of my greatest teachers.
SoULL taught me that a relationship doesn’t disappear when people aren’t in each other’s presence. I had also learned that while we may not always get the ending we want, we can still be empowered to have a good ending, even after a bad one. Continuing the flow of energy between people in relationships, instead of cutting off, we may find it isn’t an ending after all.
I decided to process my experience with each of my students on my own by writing them each a letter reviewing the work we had done, and expressing what they had taught me. I shared my view of them, recalled their strengths, dreams, and hopes for the future. Once all the letters were completed, I went through each and read it to them as if they were sitting in front me. I sensed an immediate grounding and settling in my body. I believe that they heard me on some level.
These teachings guided me both in working with students and grappling with the after effects of an abrupt and unexpected shift in relationships with my students. I am forever grateful that I was able to process all of the work and connection experienced throughout the school year.
Banner image by Gryffyn M. on Unsplash, featured images courtesy of Jackie Kelly and Haverstraw Elementary
